He hooked me again, then discarded me!

Wow, I let him do it to me again. He hooked me by being nice and understanding for a few days. Telling me how much he loves me and misses me. Tell me he wants to come visit me for the holidays and just spend it doing fun things that I like. I told him that's great but we still would need to talk about the real issues our marriage.
So he sends me an email that says here are 5 things I need in marriage to be happy. To summarize it was: 1) more sex 2) peace 3) Me not taking what he says out of context or exaggerating it 4) Let him be himself and tell me everything 5) Let him make the decisions
I felt it's a harmless enough list and thought maybe he now wants to starts a fair conversation about each of our needs and how we can make this work. So in response I sent him short list of things I need. In summery it was this: 1) Love me unconditionally and appreciate me and let me do the same back to you 2) Be open and honest with me, drop the mask, drop the image and be the real you 3) Don't twist everything I say to turn it into something evil and assume I have bad intentions

So we have a phone call later in the evening and his response to my email was, I don't believe what you say S. I don't think you represent yourself correctly. You are not this loving angel that you try to portray. If you were this person you would have shown it during our time together so I don't believe you are this person.

I was so hurt so I tried to explain that how I was in our marriage (unhappy, unsatisfied, hurt) was because of all the negativity (and his abuse) that I had to deal with since day 1 of our honeymoon. That I always wanted us to be happy and had so much love to give. That I want us to be like this from now on even if we had a crappy year.

He then proceeded to blame me again for everything that went wrong in our marriage, painted himself as an angel and me as an angry ungrateful wife. When I tried to defend myself he hung up the phone on me and sent me a text saying "I don't have to deal with your crap, goodnight".
I was shaking.. I was sick to my stomach..

He then sent me an email saying the more I read about what you wrote the more I realize you ask sooooo much from me and you only give 10% of what I give. You just ask too much!

I ignored his email until this morning and then in my hurt and desperation sent a reply saying I didn't know asking for love and respect and fairness is sooo much to ask. And I told him he doesn't want me to love him and the more I try to love him the more he wants to hurt me. He doesn't want this marriage to work and he just wants to win. He is playing games, even when I pour out my heart and try to reach out to him, he finds a way to upset me and I congratulated him on his "win" and reminded him how unchristian this is and that God is my witness and my guardian and my protector.

He will either not reply at all and plot how to take revenge by probably badmouthing me to everyone in his hometown and by letting our debts go into arrears, etc. OR he will send a reply calling my love a fake or none existent and telling me he's done with my ungrateful disrespectful crap!

Why don't I learn from history? Why don't I learn that he is not working from the same belief and logic system as me or most others. He just wants win, hurt, dominate, control and when he can't accomplish this by faking kindness and care then he will do it by destroying, revenge and discarding.
Now I feel sick to my stomach again and feel down and worthless and like a failure again. Doubting myself! He did it again and now he is on with his life celebrating his victory and feeling sorry for himself being a victim of an evil bad wife for so long.

I have been feeling very ill physically the last few weeks, I have had strange symptoms and some match those of an early pregnancy. As I mentioned earlier there is a small chance this could be the case but I hope and pray to God I'm not punished by being pregnant with his child. I told him I feel sick and I feel like I may be pregnant. He called me crazy and changed the subject. Just the thought of having to deal with his abuse for another 18+ years while trying to protect another human being from his poison scares me to death.

S.